Blame It On The Weatherman!

Ever noticed how anybody or rather anything can turn in to a celebrity? Yup the latest to join the boob-tube infamy is the monsoon in Mumbai. Never before have you seen hours of news -coverage dedicated to reporting the errant ways of the monsoon In my opinion only Britney Spears can match up to the dysfunctional and inexplicable behavior of the rains in Mumbai.

After promising this city an early and normal monsoon with a few spells of rain in June, the monsoon did a Houdini act, disappearing for nearly two whole months; almost single handedly hurtling the inflation rate to the 12% mark. Sure crude oil prices was made the fall-guy but it was the fear of a drought that sky – rocketed all other prices. Just when you had given up all hope and actually refrained from switching channels while watching Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, the skies opened up and hell it rained! And rained, and rained and rained, yes incessant rainfall for four days.

Which brings us back to where I started this article, news coverage of the monsoon in Mumbai Absolutely unbelievable? Flip through the dozen odd news channels and you'll spot a 20 something female, standing in knee –deep water on the streets reporting about the rainfall. Of course you'll have a super or ads where news channels show clippings of their reporter with her hair plastered to her head getting drenched in the rain, and say "we do whatever it takes, to bring you the whole truth" Umm really? Because common-sense would dictate that all they had to do was to hand the poor thing an umbrella or maybe a raincoat, seriously none of us would've grudged her for being an elite journalism grad from JNU had she stood with an umbrella. While the journalist yells her lungs out how water levels are rising dangerously and entering the homes of slum-dwellers all of sudden you'll have some guy show up behind her and wave gleefully to the camera as his friends try surfing on someone's makeshift roof that's just been blown away by the wind. (You gotta love this city J )

Then there's the BREAKING NEWS phenomenon, let me tell you something, every millimeter increase in rainfall reported by the MET is not breaking news!!! The only thing that's 'breaking news' is if you tell me, Milan subway is not water –logged, rail services aren't disrupted, and traffic hasn't come to a grinding halt, that BMC is actually prepared for the rains. But hey maybe they are on to something big here, instead of upgrading our British legacy drainage system or clearing up the Mithi river all those funds are directed towards purchasing boats. The truth be told, these guys are visionaries, I did some research and found out that holiday-resort owners in Hrishikesh and Dandeli fear that they may loose business as Mumbai may become the next destination for river-rafting and canoeing during June to September, The latest buzz is that the second season of Khatron ke Khiladi (Indian Fear Factor) is being shot outside Andheri station, if you can make it back home without falling into an open manhole then you da man!!!

Ever wondered how all the technology in the world falls short at protecting you from getting drenched? If you can hold an umbrella without it overturning at Marine Drive, Nariman Point or Worli sea face during heavy rains I'll give you a thousand bucks period. All this talk of rain, jogged my memory back to my college days where we studied this chapter in Hindi literature about some guy who wrote a 2000 word essay on the predicament of the different ways of holding an umbrella. By the end of it I had only one suggestion to offer the guy, 'shove it!' (If anyone remembers either the name or the author please do write in)

Of course not all is bad, the rains bring much needed relief to this city, washing away dirt, grime and its sins all at one go. The water supply of the city depends on the rains and honestly it is best time to be in the city. Nothing can be more exhilarating than finding out your office is shut and that you have an off or reaching school only to be told at the gate that you should return home. But rather than enjoying my cup of coffee or roasted corn at marine drive I find myself flinging my remote at my Tata Sky set top box which looses transmission at the slightest hint of a drizzle, you see when visibility is only 50 meters its hard to spot the silver lining.